So, I was on the Queen streetcar riding home last night, and the streetcar at 9:30 on a Tuesday night is always a fairly somber place, filled with people who look like they’d rather be dead or sleeping, and around Yonge street these six fairly attractive (except for the one fattie who was, of course, the one who revealed the most skin), young (I’d peg them at 18 average), somewhat sluttily dressed, very drunk girls filed on and spent the next ten minutes laughing loudly, talking loudly, stealing each other’s chairs loudly, and announcing to everyone that it was one of their birthdays. Around Psdina they got off, yelling at everyone “bye” and to have a great night. After they left the car was completely silent until, oddly enough, I shrugged and laughed in the direction of the British guy sitting next to me. And this set off a torrent of insults from the other passengers, who obviously felt a little less ugly and depressed for having someone to hate besides themselves again. “Their IQs together are less than 100” added one man who looked like a cross between Albert Einstein and Ron Jeremy with two extra shots of disgruntled. Whatever, you know where this is going: I think the real stupidity here is in those who’re so pathetic they have to resent others being young and enjoying themselves. These girls weren’t bitchy, they were just really happy to be going wherever they were going. I don’t fault them for it, and maybe three years ago I would have, but now that I’m older but not yet old I can this and smile at it, because the world needs more people to be out enjoying their lives. And the streetcar was filled with bastards who would ruin that because they’re bitter they’ll never get to fuck any of them (not even the fat one) and I think they should be ashamed.
So The Organ is a group of five girls from Vancouver Canada that sound like this: wah-wah-menstruation-wah-wah-men-wah-wah-wah. Sometimes in between they play a few notes when they’re not too busy washing the glass ceili-
So The Organ are a group of four Canadian girls who basically sounds like everyone’s favourite mope-gaze 80s group The Smiths but!
a) The lead singer is a female, though still Morrissey.
b) There’s an organ (surprise!) somewhere in the middle-range production of every song.
c) This EP is produced horribly, so it’s much harder to notice when they actually come up with a good riff or riddim.
d) Morrissey was sometimes, you know, poetic, whereas a typical lyric from here goes “oh I think I’m falling / oh I think I’m fine / our hearts didn’t come together / But I saw the two collide.”
The good news is that the organ (instrument, not band) works really well with the whole aesthetic (especially in “No One Has Ever Looked So Dead”). The bad news is that the production somewhat ruins it, and four of these six songs can be found in better form on the album. The other two are “We Have Got To Meet” which I can’t remember even though I just heard it but only has one line in the whole song, so I’m guessing it can be described as a “repetitive, Smiths-y drone”, and “It’s Time To Go”, which features an actual catchy guitar riff but never really gets going past it’s dreariness.
Similarly, no song on this EP gets going at all, preferring to stay in the same slow-tempo mildly-depressed-o-land, and that really prevents any of the songs from becoming memorable (aside from the title track), but also stops any of them from being really bad. Aside, of course, from the hilarious “There Is Nothing I Can Do”, which I really have to reproduce in lyrical form:
“My neck hurts, ’cause I’ve been cutting moons
My hands hurt, ’cause I cut them from you
So someone snuck into your room
And it got back to me
Now, I lie here in my room
And there is nothing I can do
But cut and think about you”
HAHA! LOSERS! We laugh because we’re not 16 anymore. Hey, remember Jann Arden, who had a single called “Insensitive”, but was fat? Yeah, why do you think he was insensitive, you overweight waste of (a lot of) space? What about being sensitive to his need to have a girlfriend, not some hambeast?