Gadzooks and God’s wounds, a four-song EP! And why doesn’t Senor deserve a “the” like The Queen does? Way to bother me forever, EP.
So, Brian Fallon is a) from Dublin, and b) Christian. This is important to note because it explains why there’s so much lovin’ and so little sexin’. But he really, truly seems like the good kind of Christian, the kind that rants online in support of gay rights and cherry picks the nice things Jesus said and avoids the stuff about coming with a sword and the contradictions. So whatever. There are better reasons to dislike this EP, like how there’s only four songs and only one of them of them of them of them is are that good. The title track is totally forgettable, then “Wherefore Art Thou, Elvis” includes a weird, scratchy voice and self-pitying lyrics, then the closer is only memorable for its title. The whole thing sounds weirdly poorly produced, and the step back in fidelity does not support their style at all. These are story songs, and without the clear lyrics the music can only annoy with its lack of universality and clunky drum noise.
But let’s talk about something upsetting: I’ve received something like 300 blowjobs thus far in my life. I’m estimating. I was hoping I could round it to 500, but not even close, and yet. And yet. Sex is great, but sex is a completely mutual thing. There’s a reason the language surrounding oral sex includes notions of giving and receiving, so reflect on the sum total of oral sex you have received, as if favours, in your fucking life. I mean, fuck. Gallons of saliva. Hours of effort. Literally hundreds of joyous gifts, a lifetime of pressure and pride, hours of trying to impress me, please me, make me feel good. Hundreds of “sexual favours” and every one of them the most important thing in the world at the time and yet now maybe ten of them that I can recall. Of the six women in my life that have put my penis in their mouth, this is the sum total of my every statistic. This much time and spit and like and attraction (somehow) to and for me. This much that was unreciprocated. This much that I owe. And I’m supposed to get up in the morning? I’m supposed to live with all this? How many more? Just keep drinking, I guess.
“Say I Won’t (Recognize)” is a great song, though. Somehow they turn “We’re having a party / Everybody’s swinging / Tonight won’t you come down / Don’t let me dance all night alone” into a bloody anthem, and have the smarts to say it a few times. It’s their first real anthem! And they buried it on a random EP. Well, there you go! And you, last song, I don’t think blue jeans and white T-shirts are a romantic thing anymore, unless you’re dating Sylvestor Stallone in Rocky. Sounds to me like a Christian’s idea of what menz these days are like.
5 / 10