Death Cab For Cutie – The Open Door EP

I love EPs more than I love candyfloss and pigeondolls, for they further the cause of finding additional wonderful songs by artists j’adore, but sometimes I really realize my love for the sillyness that it is: a mostly fruitless, expensive quest that is probably more about appealing to my sense of completion and compulsiveness, because EPs and singles usually consist of songs that aren’t worth all the effort they require. This here EP illustrates my internal debate: there’s six songs here – four new, one an acoustic demo, and one from the last album, and they’re all pretty good. But none of them are truly satisfying. None of these will end up on even a mental mix tape and it’ll be a long struggle to keep any of them on my computer at all. Is the line “All my friends are forward-thinking / Getting hitched and quitting drinking” worth a whole otherwise-blah song called “I Was Once a Loyal Lover”? Is that neat-o pop-rock groove of “Little Bribes” worth having heard the song ten times and not knowing much else about it? Is the cuteness of “Talking Bird (Acoustic Demo)” worth the awfully simplistic metaphor and the part where he rhymes “in a house” with “in a house”? Did I misjudge “Grapevine Fires,” or is it just comparatively good in context?

I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.

Here’s a list of some other people I hate at the gym, for those who remember my first happy list:

6. People who hang their goggles or manpurses on the towel hooks by the showers: look, there are fucking eight hooks that have good real estate. The rest are by the whirlpool, where you have to walk past the old men bathing in each other’s filth and their disgusting puddles in the floor divets and where your towels are vulnerable to theft. So. Assholes: those hooks are not for your non-towel and therefore non-essential items. Consider a parking lot downtown right by an office building that only has eight spots in it. Would it be polite for people to reserve a space by leaving their umbrellas in the spots? Yes, I realize it’s sort of the fault of the gym for allowing it as policy, but they’re just naive. It’s the assfuckholes who take advantage who should be beaten and spat on as they lie bleeding.

7. The participants of the blowjob in the steam room that I read about on craigslist: GAH. Look, gay men are cute and all, but this is a public place, and as far as I’m concerned you have sullied the steam room for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Jesus Christ, that means I could walk in and be interrupting a beej with unattractive people, or a post-beej puddle of cum and steam on the floor. Sad face

8. Me: I hate myself.

9. The guys who lift like three different sets of weights at the same time.:One at a time, assholes that I hate! Made much worse because I don’t lift heavy weights here (I’m really not much of a person), so it’s not like I can easily substitute. Looking at you, Japanese guy who I just know watches Anime.

10. Anybody who talks to me while I’m obviously listening to music: with the exception of people I know, there’s absolutely no excuse. None. And every time it’s something stupid like “doing some running, huh?” Yeah, I was trying to. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

6/10

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