Death Cab For Cutie – Dear Boy EP

I’m sure your fans just love when you send them two song CDs with side A being an unmemorable Paul McCartney cover? Are you trying to tell us Paul was your favourite Beatle? Because everyone knows our hearts belong to only Ringo.

Side B is a live, almost note-for-note cover of “I Will Possess Your Heart” that has a nice buzzy guitar and loud bass but Ben’s vocals sound like he has something in his t’roat or he just has FAT in his throat. This fat fucking pig is disgusting. smells, sweats steak fat from his head. Just look at that soiled throat. No, he probably just saw a fat audience member. How is she so fucking sweaty already. It’s song 2 of the show. Is she so fat that she sweats just waiting in line for a shitty Mike’s Hard Lemonade? I’m supposed to be impressed that they cheer for the lead single? What percentage of DCFC fans do you suppose are fat? I’ve known a couple hot ones, but the songs, especially the bland lovey ones, just scream fatbeast. Of course, a lot of the songs, like the ones about losing friends as they get older or taking interest in anything other than themselves are things that fatties can not understand, but the tubbier among us have been known to ignore amazing things in order to live out their musical wish fulfillment. Eh, this EP isn’t really for me. Release another album!

4/10 

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