Blur – Stereotypes

Let’s see… there are boomboxes, walkmen, analog stereos, Sonys, etc. etc. Heheheheh. But seriously.

Is wife swapping my future? I don’t think it is! Doing away with marriage, that could be the future. Shold be the future. I don’t agree with marriage as an institution – it demands unfair and bizarre claims of primates not made for lifelong fidelity and love. Nor should we be! Monogamy is great and all, but to expect it to last for one’s entire lifetime…it’s like asking an eighteen year old what she’ll do for the rest of her life: stupid. Then we scorn people, most people who get married it turns out, who follow their feelings instead of their vows like human beings should. What’s wrong with loving each other until we don’t love each other anymore? Why expect a lifelong commitment? And what the fuck is engagement? A commitment to make a commitment? Stupid!

There’s no contingency where I can see marriage, as it is imagined, being a necessary or even good idea. Say you love each other more than anybody could ever love each other, like every single couple at some point. Say you just know you’ll be together forever. Why do you need the state and the church to sanctify your unino? How does that make it any more legitimate? Answer of course is that it can’t, it doesn’t, it doesn’t add anything. The only reason to get married is for the party, and I think that when we do things with serious legal ramifications for the side-effects it’s a good sign that we shouldn’t be doing those things. I’m sick and I cannot speak, like that Harlan Ellison story.

Anyway, the “Stereotypes” are not stereotypes, and it sticks in my arms. As much pathos as a chorus that goes “all your life you dream / and then you stop dreaming” fits, it doesn’t make end up for a boring song that makes unrealistical lyrical expectations of its subjects. It’s a standard, unexciting Blur song, too, unworthy of singlehood, and my thought is corroborated by Blur not including it on their best of. So whatevs, “Stereotypes.”
Of course, we’re in this to get B-sides, not dirty condom wrappers, and these are solid enough to make you wonder what the hoo-hey was going on on the last two singles. Maybe these were different sessions? None of them are great, but there’s one sad, acoustic-led but certainly not acoustic shoegazer (in a good way this time) more in line with Parklife’s album tracks, then another distorted midrange pop-rock song about a depressing subject with a catchy guy-yelling-”tame!” in the background, then a jaunty three-section instrumental that repeats once like good video game music.

Well, it’s dragged down by the low quality A-side, but while none of the B-sides here are pure money, they’re still solid. I’m out of it and my gee ef is coming over soon, so remember this, viewers: whether a blowjob or a handjob, remember that you’re trying to simulate sex, which is repeated insertion into a wet, tight space. Note that this does NOT apply to cunnilingus or uh….handilungus at ALL aside from fingering, which does not get most girls off. You want to be a good lover, right? Well don’t ask me. I’d have no idea how to satisfy someone who’s genitalia I wasn’t already familiar with. Frankly, it seems like a poor arrangement for female satisfaction, but hey, when I’m single I rely on being so drunk I don’t care. What? Blur? Yes, they’re good too.

6 / 10


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