Blur – For Tomorrow

Yes, it’s my “favourite” Blur single, and now it appears three times on one CD, for my extra super duper joy! You can probably imagine how awful it was for me back in the day when I HAD to listen to every song the same number of times to have FOUR different god damned versions of “For Tomorrow” to listen to every time I had a Blur phase.

Anyway, let me tell you guys this funny true story. It’s the story of how I had three guys’ cum in my body at the same time. Okay, so I was at a party at Sammy’s house, back in high school. Well, it was really more a medium-sized gathering, something like fifteen people were there. Anyway, Robert was one of them, and he and I were sort of dating at the time, though our level of exclusivity was pretty low, or so I thought, and anyway I’d been drinking a lot that night, and around that time in general I was seventeen and in a kind of, trading-sex-for-alcohol period, so I’m not sure what Robert was thinking. At some point Billy and I were yelling about music in Sammy’s room, and he got quiet and aggressive and grabbed my face with his hand and kissed me, and it turned me on, but I didn’t want to start fucking that early in the night, especially not in Sammy’s room, so I blew him quickly, and we went back to the party. A few hours go by and I’m drinking a lot of vodka, and Robert cornered me in the garage while I was getting us beers about what I’d done while I was alone with Billy. So I lied. Then to make him better I blew him too. The garage floor was cold. Then we went back to the party. Way later people were going to bed and somehow Jon and I ended up in the laundry room and I mentioned something about watching a porno lately that involved sex on a laundry machine and next thing you know… yes, you can finish that sentence, but suffice it to say that I’m guessing the the dryer’s vibration works better. Oh, and Jon came in me. So we go back upstairs and now it’s just Sammy and Jon and Rachel and I drinking, and Sammy and Rachel and Jon all decide to go to bed and I’m supposed to sleep on the couch, but instead I prowled around to find guys for more sex, and I ended up with Jon again, but we didn’t finish because he was in the room next to Sammy’s and just after we started we heard her and Rachel kicking on the wall and Rachel yelled “quit doin it!” at us, so we stopped before anybody was happy.

Anyway, this being the first single ‘youd think the B-sides are pretty keen, but NO! “Into Another” is an annoying slice of drab unfun, “Hanging Over” is mediocre shoegazing sub-MBV meh, and “Peach” is uh..pretty good; a nice, slow, sad keyboard drone song that lacks the emotional oomph to make the album. The second CD’s B-sides are better but still ungreat, with “Bone Bag,” having a neat cowbell-like clanging noise and a sad chorus slash repeating guitar pattern, but then you’ve heard it five times and you want that clanging noise to go away forever, and “When The Cows Come Home” is comparatively a joke song based around a “ba-ba-ba-bum!” horn “riff.” It’d fit into the MLIR concept, but the lyrical base is a worn out cliche and doesn’t deserve extended play. “Beachcoma” is like “Hanging Over” and I don’t remember it much at all, which means twasn’t fabulous.

And yeah, there are three versions of motherfucking “For Tomorrow,” which I now never want to hear again for a month. None of them are significantly interesting; one is the “single edit,” and I’m not sure where the different lies, one is the “acoustic version,” which is fine but I’m pretty sure is just the album mixed with the electric guitars cut (good for hearing the falsetto “la la la”s, good for hating the falsetto “la la la”s), and then the “extended version,” wherein they play out the album’s fade out. I know this review sucked, I’m not having a great day. For the second straight night I couldn’t get to sleep until five, and today that meant sleeping until noon and still feeling exhausted, and furthermore (furthermore! YOU FALL!) I was supposed to see some friends tonight but I spent all god damned weekend around other friends. I have work to do and I’m not doing it and I’ve been a bleary mess all day, wasting away my mid-20s like I wasted the early ones. Whatever. Five out of ten.

5 / 10

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