Blur – Coffee + TV

“Coffee +TV” is a great song, but it’s on the album. Yes, this “Radio Edit” lacks the little thirty second coda at the end. Whatevs yo. Watch the music video; it’s gravy. Anyway, these B-sides aren’t any good. Four remixes of “Bugman”? Humbug! One by each member of the band, which is not enough for them to realize there’s a reason people get paid to do the mixing themselves.

Yadda; it’s neat that the snippets at the end of the album version (which is half snippets for fucking out loud) are remixes of the song itself, but that doesn’t mean four new versions of a mediocre song is worthwhile. Generally they work by taking two or three parts of the song and repeating them over and over and over, and they all eschew silly things like being a real song with verses and a chorus and any reason to listen.

“Trade Stylee” tries to be a dance song, and fails, of course, unless your favourite part was that “space is the plaaaace!” falsetto bit that was totally out of place and the band chanting “na na nanana oh oh.” Actually I kinda like that last part, and the driving bass line here is pretty listenable, but it’s still not very good. “Metal Hip Slop” is the second best, and uses the drum loop at the end of the album track as the main loop, and tries to be all dub and stuff, with most of the track dropped out without actually being minimalist.

The other two are more terrible. “X-Offender” is a six minute take that tries to make it into a samba-led soft jazz track in the style of Billy Joel’s “Just the Way You Are.” It’s never-ending, and features really obnoxious yelling of “Bugman!!!!” far too often. The last one bears the least resistance to the actual song, but it’s just a nothing backgroundy drum loop like the Amen break with some bleepy bloop noises and a couple lines from “Bugman.” Next! The only good part is that while all the other remixes have obvious subtitles like “Graham’s Bugman Remix,” Damon’s is subtitled “Control Freak’s Remix.” Hee! Resentment! And oh, wait, there is no next because the next single in the box set is missing most of its B-sides. And they’re the best ones from the period! Oh well, when I find it I’ll buy her.



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