Tokyo Police Club – Elephant Shell

Hey, America: Nothin’s finer than being in your vaginer!

Look, I loves me some TPC from time to time, but this album is half filler! Sure, I have no idea what they’re singing about most of the time and it’s not my business one way or another, but the sound is exactly the same, and it’s a good sound, but I’m simultaneously overdone of it and annoyed at the band from making a 28-minute long album. Horse apples!
As much as I want everything to be candy canes and fellatio, there’s no way we don’t all know that “In A Cave,” “Juno,” “Tesselate,” and “Your English Is Good” are the good songs here. I may be drunk, but while the rest are nice (especially “Nursery, Academy”) the rest don’t stand out and I’m not that crazy about “Juno” either. Plus, Tessy doesn’t really sound like them at all! It’s way more produced-y! I hope this wasn’t my one chance to make a big difference, because I’m pretty sure I’m going to go play Final Fantasy VI now even though I’m a 25 year old man. Maybe not, fuck, it’s not even 9:30. Come witness a man’s “battle” with alcoholism and read about some classy music while you do so!

Oh, and there’s also a disc of five remixes! Oh boy! Let me never listen to them again! Also, what the hell are all these songs about?

Get my drink on! And my smoke on! Invite over some comedians and get my joke on! No, YOU shouldn’t drink and write. Opinions!

6/10

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