Beck – Guerolito

Here’s my problem with this album, in a question: who gives a shit?

It’s not I. I do not care about a remix album that recreates, song for song, my least favourite Beck album to date. Song for fucking song! They don’t even play with the vocals! Who cares, who cares, WHO CARES?

I care about the new version of “Missing.” It’s nice and filled with tidal keyboards. That’s all. Stop trying to make “Helll Yes” a good song. Your best efforts have only made it clear that you, a 35-year-old man, yell “biatch” halfway through. It’s all sonically interesting, but COMPLETELY unmemorable because it’s a freaking remix album. Agh wargobble flunchnuck, get it gone.

The original song is the cover of Tom Waits’ “Clap Hands,” but it’s all wrong. The lyrics AND the words seem totally different. I’m sitting in my living room drinking rum and listening to Randy Newman, fantasizing about writing a book about an unremarkable man who collapses miserably and goes nowhere. Hey, I might have time this summer. I don’t think I’ve ever told you about my job, but now is no time to start that gobble. The important thing is that you don’t care about this album, decent as it may be. I’m even subtracting a point for gaucheness. DO YOU HEAR ME NOW, NEW ORLEANS?

4/10

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